WASHINGTON– After the breaking news that former presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard had left the Democrat party, elated RINO Republicans went on record to say they’d be glad to finally come out of the proverbial closet and join the blue team instead of pretending to be right-wingers.
The term RINO stands for Republicans In Name Only and often describes a politician who says they’re a Republican but in fact is a secret Democrat working on behalf of the leftwing party to undermine the conservative movement.
Giddy RINOs Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell gave an urgent press conference with Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, saying they would be honored if Nancy and her fellow Democrats would accept them to the blue team.
“Ooh, me, me, please pick me, Miss Nancy,” said Lindsey Graham as he batted his eyelashes and reapplied his lipstick. “I’m tired of pretending to be someone I’m not and for the first time in my political career, I want to tell the truth. And the truth is: I’ve always been a Democrat.”
Graham and McConnell both said that they’ve definitely proven themselves to the Democrat party by stabbing their constituents in the back by doing the opposite of what they wanted and by also helping to remove President Donald Trump from the White House.
“I also think I’m much prettier than Tulsi,” said Graham while McConnell shook his neck fat in agreement. “Now that you’re taking me as a Democrat I’m going to do everything just the way I’ve always been doing it except I won’t have to hide it anymore.”
Numerous other RINO Republicans have also gone public with their desire to join the Democrat party in Tulsi’s place, including Dan Crenshaw of Texas, Mitt Romney of Utah, Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, and Adam Kinzinger of Illinois.
