WASHINGTON– Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden said that if he is elected president he would ensure that every American would get a free vintage rotary phone as a way to help stimulate the struggling economy and to also help curb the spread of coronavirus by enticing everyone to stay at home and talk on their cool telephones.
The former vice president said that he got the inspiration for the free Biden phone from Barack Obama’s free government phone program.
Unlike the Obama cell phone, which was only available to low income families, Biden promises that his Biden phone will be given to every American, regardless of race, color, creed, or scent.
“If I beat Richard Nixon this election I’ll make sure every man, woman, child, and woman gets one of these hip rotary phones,” Biden told MSNBC after trying to read his wife’s lips. “Mark my words, Daddy-O, when I take over this ship I vow to make even our military just as modern as these groovy, you know the thing.”
According to the latest CNN poll, Biden’s lead over President Donald Trump has skyrocketed after news of the Biden Rotary phone program became public.
Anonymous political experts have reported that millions of former Trump supporters have joined the Democrat party and will be voting for Joe Biden in an effort to receive the much sought after rotary phone, which Biden added will come with a free phone jack.
The Biden campaign stated that they are also looking to win over former Bernie Sanders supporters by offering them free nifty clothes washboards so that they no longer have to clean their clothing with outdated electric washing machines.
