LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA– A group of senior citizens has been terrorizing people around the Los Angeles area and authorities are looking at ways to combat the crimes of these ruthless old folks.
The gang goes by the name MS-70, which took their name from infamous Salvadoran gang MS-13. The 70 in MS-70 stands for the minimum age requirement to join the violent group.
According to an anonymous member of MS-70, seniors can apply to join the gang once they have officially hit retirement age at 65 and then pass strict initiation rituals that take five years to complete.
“The older the better,” said the unidentified 91 year old member from his wheelchair. “People would never suspect that a little old grandma is gonna come up to someone and shank them or stick a glock in their face and rob their young keisters.”
MS-70 is wanted by authorities for a slew of crimes, such as smearing used depends onto the windshields of cars, smacking unsuspecting people on the shins with canes, stomping on dogs’ tails with walkers, falling asleep on park benches so that no one else can sit down, overfeeding seagulls so that they defecate all over sidewalks, and many more heinous acts.
When reporters asked the MS-70 member why no one ever quits the dangerous gang, the frail old man simply slobbered all over his food bib and said that it was a secret that he would take to his grave.
“I’ll never talk about that,” he said two minutes before he fell out of his wheelchair and passed away.
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars