Tag: Rated PG

Maskless Science Denier Still Waiting Patiently To Die Any Day Now

PORTLAND, OREGON-- For the last year and a half, a local maskless…

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FBI Agents Bravely Stop Domestic Terrorist Parent From Putting Apple Into Child’s School Lunch Bag

BOULDER, COLORADO-- Brave FBI agents arrested a Boulder woman this morning after…

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Governor Gavin Newsom To Star As Contestant On Next Season’s Rupaul’s Drag Race

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- Governor Newsom announced on his Twitter X account this…

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Biden Mandates That All Women Must Let Him Sniff Their Hair

WASHINGTON-- Immediately after virtue-signaling by getting his saline booster shot on live…

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Justin Trudeau Promises To Be More Caring Dictator After Winning Totally Legitimate Election

OTTAWA, CANADA-- After winning Canada's most legitimate election in history in a…

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An Impatient Joe Biden Hires Freddy Krueger To Vaccinate Hesitant People While They’re Sleeping

WASHINGTON-- Joe Biden has finally reached his breaking point in trying to…

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Newly Unearthed: Over 2,000 Year Old Confucius Quote Telling Future Americans To Take COVID Vaccine

BEIJING, CHINA-- A never-before-seen quote from famed Chinese philosopher Confucius has been…

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Joe Biden Says Farsighted White Hens Are America’s Number One Domestic Terrorists

WASHINGTON-- At a recent earthshattering news conference in a lookalike White House…

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New CDC Guidelines Now Say Dead People Only Need To Wear Three Masks When Buried

ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced new…

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Funeral Homes Offering Free Tombstones To Anyone Who Shows Proof Of Vaccination

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA-- Great news to everyone who gets the COVID-19 vaccine.…

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Proud Mother Adopts COVID Vaccine After Aborting Real Unborn Baby

PORTLAND, OREGON-- It looks like another needy coronavirus vaccine has found a…

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Miracle: Joe Biden Cures Kamala Harris Of Head Lice After Sniffing Her Hair

WASHINGTON-- In what is being considered nothing less than a miracle, Joe…

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