TRENTON, NEW JERSEY– Former President Barack Hussein Obama spent some time in New Jersey this week teaching his protégé Governor Phil Murphy the proper way to deceive your constituents in an effort to win an election, claiming that ballot stuffing is not enough these days for a Democrat to get into office.
With the release of the damning undercover video by Project Veritas where the governor’s office stated he will be making Adolf Hitler look like a choirboy after November 2 with mandates, Murphy called up his old pal Obama and begged him to please show him the power of the dark side so he can be reelected and fulfill his destiny of destroying the state of New Jersey.
“I knew I needed the help of an expert liar and my friend Obama is one of the best at his craft,” said Murphy after biting the head off of a chicken with his bare teeth. “Those meddling Project Veritas people really screwed things up for me and I was forced to call in the big guns to weasel my way back into the governor’s mansion.”
When asked for his response to the secret video where he claims he intends on strapping every New Jersey resident down to a table and injecting them with the COVID vaccine, Murphy smiled big and quoted a line he stole from the classic television show Seinfeld.
“In the words of the great George Costanza, it’s not a lie if you believe it’s true,” said the rabid Murphy right before he chased down a passing postal worker and bit his leg.
