LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA– Easygoing Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin has been in hot water later for his mostly peaceful shooting incident of some woman named something, according to CNN. To get a better grip on the overblown situation, Baldwin hired acclaimed legal expert OJ Simpson to guide him through the whole trivial legal process.
A giddy Baldwin was all smiles as he and his entertainment buddy Simpson smoked a few cigars while discussing the best way to make this annoying alleged murder case just go away so he can get back to his world-famous pizza parties.
“Who better to instruct me on the ins and outs of this inconvenient shooting incident than my good friend OJ Simpson,” said Baldwin as he and OJ slapped each other high fives. “This, um, woman, or whoever it was, that I’m accused of hurting has really caused me a great deal of stress. I’ve only done three lines of coke this morning when I’d usually be up to about six by now.”
While giving an extended interview on news outlet CNN with host Jeffrey Toobin, Simpson discussed the best strategy for Baldwin is to simply try on the gun that was used in the movie set shooting incident.
“If it ain’t Baldwin’s gun, this case is done,” said Simpson sternly, reminiscent of the quip used by lawyer Johnnie Cochran during OJ’s own 1995 murder trial. “That gun didn’t even belong to Alec, so there’s no way it’s possible he could have pulled the trigger. Case closed. Trust me, this makes perfect legal sense when you’re a rich, Hollywood celebrity.”
CNN ended their segment by stating that Baldwin should be praised for following the set’s strict COVID regulations, not castigated for doing something to someone.
