ROME, ITALY– Presidents Joe Biden and Emmanuel Macron met in Rome today in their first ever mud wrestling match in an effort to settle their recent diplomatic squabbles, trying to prove to the world who’s the bigger sissy-boy, globalist, installed leader.
The two figureheads began training earlier this week for the upcoming match by having both of their young, gorgeous wives roll around in the mud while wearing bikinis and pulling off each other’s blonde wigs.
The match was televised on French pay-per-view for $.99 (USD), with citizens from both France and the United States hoping that their own detested ruler would lose in humiliation. Once the bell rang, Macron was declared the winner within fifteen seconds after Biden forgot where he was and just walked off the field.
“I’ve never trained so hard in my entire life,” said Biden after the match, referring to watching his wife Jill rip off Macron’s wife’s bikini top. “As part of the deal agreement on whomever lost, I must now give France 100 billion dollars to fund squirrel gender-reassignment surgeries for French rodents who feel like they’re trapped inside the wrong furry body. This will be all US taxpayer money, of course.”
As soon as word of Biden’s embarrassing defeat was blasted all over social media, President Donald Trump put out a statement on his Save America account lambasting Biden for losing to such a weak, little, girly-man like Macron.
“Biden’s defeat at the soft hands of Macron is yet another failure by this illegitimate Biden administration,” wrote Trump in the announcement, using a few extra exclamation points. “Once again Biden has embarrassed America with his disastrously poor physical abilities. This never would have happened if I were still your president. Miss me yet?”
The White House put out a statement saying that Biden would like a rematch with Macron as soon as his software people can get the voting algorithm rigged in his favor to win.
