Gavin Newsom Thanks Californians For Sacrificing Electricity So He Can Power His Mansions
SAN FRANCISCO, CA-- Standing inside of the kitchen of his brightly illuminated…
Republicans Hail Bipartisan Compromise After Agreeing To Give Democrats Everything They Want
WASHINGTON-- Congressional Republicans celebrated what they called a “historic moment of unity”…
California Bans ‘Assault Matches’ And ‘High-Capacity Lighters’ To Combat Wildfires
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In a move to combat the state's annual wildfire apocalypse,…
Man Who Spent Two Years Calling Republicans ‘Weird’ Shocked To Discover Name-Calling Can Be Hurtful
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA-- During a tearful press conference, Minnesota Governor and former…
Awkward: GOP, DNC Both Offer Lucrative X Contracts To Same Indian Troll Farm For ‘Authentic Grassroots Support’
WASHINGTON-- In a cringe-worthy moment of bipartisan embarrassment, both the Republican National…
Scarecrow Elected Head Of Democrat Party In Landslide
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to turn the struggling Democrat Party around, the…
Congress Reopens Government Just So They Can Take Another Vacation
WASHINGTON-- In a stunning display of bipartisan unity, the U.S. Congress announced…
Ex-Con Believes His Extensive Criminal History Will Make Him An Excellent Addition To Congress
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- Only days after Nancy Pelosi announced her retirement from…
Nancy Pelosi Announces Retirement From Criminal Career
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- From inside of a local bar near her home,…
Republicans Jubilant Over Democrat Sweep, Vow To Use Same Strategy To Lose Midterms
WASHINGTON-- Jubilant Republicans filled the halls of Congress this morning, popping sparkling…
Andrew Cuomo Vows To Personally Grope Every Woman In NYC Within First 100 Days As Mayor
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- In a last ditch effort to win…
U-Haul Sees Record Profits As Democrat Voters Flee Problems They Intend To Recreate Elsewhere
U.S.-- American rental company U-Haul announced record profits this quarter, citing an…