Biden-Appointed Judge Rules Federal Workers Not Required To Do Any Work
U.S.-- With the threat of both President Trump's firings and Elon Musk's work accountability emails, a federal judge appointed by Joe Biden has stepped in and ruled that federal workers…
Trump Hopes Takeover Of USPS Will Help Increase Mail Delivery Accuracy To At Least 48%
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to make the USPS both more profitable and efficient, President Donald Trump announced today that he has been mulling over the idea of taking over the…
Gavin Newsom Taps Fire Marshal Bill To Lead LA Wildfire Recovery Efforts
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In an effort to speed up the Los Angeles wildfire recovery efforts, California Governor Gavin Newsom brought in the highly respected and qualified fire prevention expert Fire Marshall…
Oops: ‘P Diddy Client List’ Accidentally Soaked With Baby Oil Only Moments Before It Was Set To Be Released
WASHINGTON-- The flukiest thing happened this week when federal authorities were just about to release the infamous P Diddy client list, but then at the last minute had to announce…
Mitch McConnell Announces His Retirement From The Chinese Communist Party
BEIJING, CHINA-- It was a sad day in China after Republican Senator Mitch McConnell announced his retirement from the Chinese Communist Party at the young age of 192, with President…
France Increases Military Spending To 5% To Pay For More White Flags Of Surrender
PARIS, FRANCE-- As soon as word spread that President Donald Trump was pulling US troops out of Europe, France President Emmanuel Macron quickly announced that The Hexagon country would be…
Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Biden-Era Push To Hire More Blind FAA Pilots
WASHINGTON-- Amidst another round of executive orders signed by President Donald Trump was a ban targeting former President Joe Biden's push to hire more blind airplane pilots during the previous…
Zelensky Spies On Russia-Ukraine Peace Talks By Posing As Garden Gnome
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA-- After feeling slighted that he wasn't invited to the Russia-Ukraine peace talks, Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky decided to spy on the secret proceedings in Saudi Arabia by…
Xi Jinping Threatens To Fire Mitch McConnell If He Lets Trump Ban China From Buying US Farmland
BEIJING, CHINA-- After receiving the terrible news that President Donald Trump was planning on banning China from purchasing more US farmland, an incensed Xi Jinping warned his employee Senator Mitch…
Germany’s Sesame Street Introduces New Muppet Character ‘Musaab The Terrorist’
GERMANY-- In the latest episode of Germany's version of Sesame Street called "Sesamstrasse," producers of the show introduced a new character called Musaab, an angry, knife-wielding illegal alien terrorist from…
Awkward Tension On Sesame Street Set After Oscar The Grouch Calls ICE On Big Bird’s Mexican Cousin Abelardo
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– It was a tense moment on the set of children's television show Sesame Street after Muppet actor Oscar the Grouch called ICE immigration to report Big Bird's…
Trudeau Interrupts USA-Canada Hockey Game To Lecture Players On Toxic Masculinity
MONTREAL, CANADA-- There were many wild moments at last night's hockey game between the United States and Canada, but the highlight of the evening was when Canadian Prime Minister Justin…
