Xi Jinping Threatens To Fire Canada’s Mark Carney For Imposing Tariffs On China
BEIJING, CHINA-- Once word reached Beijing that Canadian Prime Minister-elect Mark Carney had imposed tariffs on China, an angry President Xi Jinping issued a stern warning to the Liberal Party…
Biden Practices For Upcoming Political Career By Getting Job At TSA
NEW CASTLE, DELAWARE-- Only days after announcing his intentions to possibly get back into politics, former President Joe Biden decided to practice his infamous female groping skills by getting a…
European Leaders Hold Emergency Meeting To Figure Out How To Blame Trump For Europe Knife Attacks
BRUSSELS-- With the deadly knife attacks growing exponentially across Europe due to corrupt, failed leadership, European leaders held an emergency meeting in Brussels to discuss what would be the best…
Denmark Builds LEGO Border Wall Around Greenland To Protect Them From Trump Invasion
GREENLAND-- With President Donald Trump escalating his desire to diplomatically acquire Greenland, angry leaders from Denmark vowed to fight back and protect their territory by building a toy LEGO wall…
RFK Jr. Apologizes After Released Blackmail Video Shows Him Chugging Bottle Of Seed Oil At Party
U.S.-- RFK Jr. has been embroiled in yet another controversy after a recently released blackmail video showed the country's Health Secretary chugging what appears to be a bottle of seed…
Bipolar Tesla Arsonist Leaves Apology Note After Vandalizing Vehicle
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-- Police in Las Vegas are searching for an apparently bipolar Tesla vandal who left an apology note after burning down a parked Cybertruck, writing that they felt…
Prime Minister Keir Starmer Bans Bananas After UK Man Slips On Banana Peel
UNITED KINGDOM-- Bananas have been officially banned from the United Kingdom after a UK man slipped and fell on a banana peel, declared Prime Minister Keir Starmer. The new ban…
Avengers Mistakenly Add Thanos To Group Chat Discussing Retrieving The Infinity Stones
U.S.-- The Avengers have been embroiled in a massive scandal this week after it was revealed that the superheroes mistakenly added the warlord Thanos to their Signal group chat where…
Exasperated Dwarves Invite Insufferable Snow White Paddleboarding With Obama
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- At their wits end and left with no other options, the Seven Dwarves reportedly invited the obnoxious Snow White out for a quiet time paddleboarding with former President…
UK Police Charge British Man With Hate Crime For Not Allowing Immigrant To Stab Him
UNITED KINGDOM-- UK police have arrested a British man this week and are charging him with a hate crime after the native-born Briton tried defending himself against an illegal immigrant…
Trump Officials Under Fire For Accidentally Leaking Latest JD Vance Meme To Journalist On Signal
WASHINGTON-- A major controversy has struck the Trump administration after a journalist from The Atlantic was added accidentally to a group chat where Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth shared a…
Amazon UK Announces New James Bond Will Remain A British Male
UNITED KINGDOM-- Amazon released a statement recently to announce some good news regarding their new James Bond film franchise, revealing that the 007 secret agent in the new films will…
