RFK Jr. Announces New Tylenol Coated In Beef Tallow As Healthier Alternative
WASHINGTON-- In a move aimed at fighting autism and seed oil tyranny, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (RFK Jr.) announced today that all Tylenol caplets will…
Nancy Pelosi Goes On ‘Botox Strike’ Until Illegal Aliens Receive Free Healthcare
WASHINGTON-- In response to the government shutdown, former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced today that she will be going on a "Botox Strike" until the U.S. government agrees…
Nation Struggles To Tell If Congress Shut Down Or Just On Another Vacation
WASHINGTON-- As the U.S. government enters its first week of shutdown, millions of Americans are scratching their heads, wondering if Congress is actually closed for business or just enjoying another…
Taliban Issues Urgent Travel Warning For UK: ‘Too Oppressive For Afghan Citizens’
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN-- In a stunning reversal of geopolitical norms, the Taliban regime has issued an unprecedented travel advisory urging Afghan nationals to avoid visiting the United Kingdom, citing concerns over…
California Proposes ‘Burglary Equity Act’ To Ensure White Neighborhoods Robbed More Often
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In order to address the systemic racial disparities in California's burglary rates, the Democrat-controlled State Legislature has introduced the "Burglary Equity Act" (BEA). The landmark bill aims to…
Mark Carney Visits Keir Starmer For Ideas On How To Destroy Canada Faster
LONDON, ENGLAND-- In a blatant display of intercontinental tyranny, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney jetted off to London yesterday to meet with his UK counterpart, Keir Starmer to learn from…
UK Government Assures Citizens Digital IDs Are Not Mandatory, Except For Travel, Work, Banking, Healthcare, Shopping, Eating, And Breathing
LONDON, UK-- In an effort to ease the minds of worried British citizens, Prime Minister Keir Starmer reassured the nation that the new digital ID system is "entirely optional" unless…
Local Man Uses ADL’s Extremist Files To Identify Trustworthy Businesses And Individuals
OAKHAVEN, OHIO-- A local 32-year-old man named John Smith of suburban Ohio has taken to scouring the Anti-Defamation League’s (ADL) Extremist Files, not to avoid their alleged hate groups, but…
Federal Agents Deploy Soap And Deodorant To Disperse Antifa Rioters At Chicago ICE Facility
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS-- A tense standoff took a bizarre and sudsy turn Friday evening after federal agents were able to successfully disperse a group of Antifa rioters near a Chicago ICE…
Nation Begs US Government To Shut Down So They’ll Finally Stop Making Things Worse For A Little While
U.S.-- In a rare display of bipartisan unity, millions of Americans from coast to coast are fervently praying for the US government to finally shut down once and for all.…
BREAKING: James Comey Clears Himself Of All Charges After Rigorous 30-Second Self-Investigation
WASHINGTON-- Only hours after a federal grand jury indicted him on multiple charges, former FBI Director James Comey has concluded a thorough investigation into his own alleged felonies, finding himself…
Keir Starmer Promises Digital ID Will Only Be Used To Track White British Citizens
LONDON, UK - Under the guise of tackling illegal immigration, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer announced the rollout of mandatory digital ID cards to "revolutionize how we manage identity in…
