Female Homeowner Discovers Strange Woman Living Inside Of Her Home
ERSATZ, GEORGIA-- Authorities are investigating the home of a woman who claims that she found an uninvited woman living inside of her two-bedroom bungalow. The homeowner, Becky Waters, called police…
CNN Most Trusted News Network, According To New CNN Poll
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- In a brand-spanking new poll just released by America's favorite mainstream news media outlet, CNN now tops all other news outlets in trust, favorability, and popularity. According to…
Chinese New Year Changed To January 20th Presidential Inauguration, Now Called Chinese Donald Trump Presidential Inauguration New Year Day 2017
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to promote peace and also a smooth transition, President-elect Donald Trump and China have decided to show their support for one another by combining the Chinese…
Texas Man Shoots Tooth Fairy For Breaking And Entering
FORT WORTH, TEXAS-- A Fort Worth man is being questioned by police for the recent shooting of the Tooth Fairy after supposedly receiving an invitation letter from the man's young…
Northeast Survives ‘End Of World’ After Snowstorm, Prepares For Next End Of World
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY-- The end of the world has officially come and gone in the northeast and the numerous survivors are already preparing themselves for the next apocalyptic snowflakes. In…
Recent Crow Deaths Linked To Heroin Overdoses
BISCAYNE, WYOMING-- Overdoses from heroin abuse now kill more crows in America than being hit by cars, AIDS, homicides, and bird flu. So far this year approximately 1,534 crows have…
After Getting Fat-Shamed Online, Santa Claus Drops Two Hundred Pounds
NORTH POLE-- Christmas just got a whole lot thinner, thanks to Santa Claus' drastic weight loss. The formerly fat man in the red suit has reportedly lost over two hundred…
Is Fake News Really Real News Disguised As Fake Real News? Experts Weigh In
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- With all the talk lately about fake news, many real fake actual experts are taking a closer look at what exactly constitutes fake news and whether…
Shoe Manufacturers To Discontinue Size 13 Shoes Due To Bad Luck; Possible Demonic Possession
BENTON, OHIO-- Due to a number of unexplained eerie instances inside of warehouses, a group of shoe manufacturers have decided to do away with all their size 13 shoe lines and…
Outraged Anti-Trump Rioters Demand Labor Rights Such As Paid Vacations And Overtime
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA-- In a odd twist to an already odd situation, many anti-Trump, anti-police rioters have now turned their anger onto their boss George Soros, claiming that he has been…
With Thanksgiving Looming, Band Of Rogue Turkeys Killing Farmers
JACKSTONE, PENNSYLVANIA-- Farmers across the United States are being warned by government officials to take extra precaution this Thanksgiving holiday due to a group of rogue turkeys who are going…
Canada Building Border Wall To Keep Out Hollywood Celebrities Fleeing A Trump Presidency
MONTREAL, CANADA-- Canada officials recently announced on Twitter X that they have already begun building a wall along their southern border in the hopes of keeping out all the Hollywood…
