BRONX, NEW YORK– Shocking research that’s just been released has left many dog owners scratching their heads.
The country’s top scientists have recently performed a study on the way humans handle their dogs’ bathroom habits.
According to the research, 90% of dogs have stated that they actually prefer crapping on their own lawns, not on their neighbor’s lawns as most dog owners have previously surmised.
And a whopping 100% of dogs have stated that they prefer urinating on their own lawns, going as far as to say that it’s animal abuse to force them to hold in their urine until their owner gets home from work to walk them down the street just to urinate on someone else’s property.
“This is shocking,” said an unidentified dog owner who takes his German Shepard four miles down the street before he lets the dog relieve himself. “I always thought my dog wanted to wait all day until I got home from work before I let him go pee-pee on my neighbor’s lawn miles a way. This changes everything.”
The head scientist who studied the dogs says that the canines have been trying to communicate with their owners for years, but due to most human’s inconsiderate nature they never listened.
Rex is a 4 year old Labrador Retriever who claims that this new research will only make dog owners force them to wait even longer to go pee or poo.
“My bladder’s really gonna be aching now,” said Rex to reporters. “I’m already taking a prescription medication so I don’t have the urge to pee so much. Why does my owner fill my water bowl up in the morning if I gotta hold my pee in all day? Where do they think it’s gonna go? I’m not a camel.”
In light of the recent groundbreaking research, many owners are getting rid of their dogs and adopting other animal breeds that either don’t urinate or are able to hold in their urine and feces until the owner gets home from work.
