SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA– After growing tired of all the mundane questions from reporters about the California wildfires, Governor Gavin Newsom decided to hire Swedish climate change activist Greta Thunberg to follow him around and scream at anyone who dares to ask who was responsible for making sure the Los Angeles fire situation was taken care of.
Gavin Newsom said he had enough of the millions of people asking him questions about the wildfires or why there wasn’t more preparation or who was the one responsible for letting it all exacerbate to the current level, so he hired the environmentalist Thunberg to accompany him whenever journalists press him on all the rightwing, Republican smear tactics of making it seem as though the governor of California was at least partly responsible for the disaster.
“How dare you,” said brave Greta Thunberg after a Fox News reporter asked Gavin Newsom about the empty fire hydrants. “You are robbing Governor Newsom of his dreams of becoming the U.S. president in 2028. Governor Newsom should be at his office right now trying to make California Trump-proof. And you are all here asking him about something insignificant like an entire city burning down. How dare you?.”
California Senator Adam Schiff went on MSNBC to dispel the Republican myth that Democrats are responsible in any way for the wildfires, saying that Donald Trump is in fact the one who caused the fires.
Schiff went on to say that he has irrefutable proof that Trump is a Russian asset who purposely started the California wildfires, but he can’t show anyone that proof because it is a big secret and to just trust him.
