NEW YORK, NEW YORK– Today is Hollywood legend Robert De Niro’s 81st birthday and the famous actor spent his special day doing what he does every day, which is obsessing about former President Donald Trump.
While at a birthday party with his family and friends, Bobby D. sat in front of his birthday cake and stared angrily at the lit candles as everyone sang Happy Birthday to the fuming actor.
“Ok, Robert, don’t forget to make a wish before you blow out the candles,” said one of De Niro’s friends as Robert clenched his teeth in anger. “Now make sure you don’t tell any of us your wish or it won’t come true.”
The always irate De Niro clenched his angry, little fists, closed his eyes for a moment, and then blew out the candles before running over to the television to turn on CNN to see if Trump had been arrested yet.
“Damn it, not again,” said Robert De Niro after realizing that Trump was still a free man. “That orange-skinned mutt’s still walking around with that smile on his face destroying our democracy. Maybe if I would’ve concentrated a little harder then my wish would’ve come true.”
Robert De Niro also said for the third time in a row that if Trump gets into the White House that he will be moving to Canada. No word on whether Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will be moving to the United States if his Conservative opponent Pierre Poilievre wins the Canadian election.
