DETROIT, MICHIGAN– Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders has returned to the campaign trail with a vengeance in an effort to continue his quest at crushing the corporate establishment by fully endorsing and throwing his unbiased support behind corporate establishment Democratic nominee Joe Biden.
Sanders addressed a massive crowd of 20 former Bernie supporters about the extreme urgency of finally once and for all destroying the evil 1%ers that are holding American citizens back from becoming successful themselves, stumping for Biden in a rarely heard anti-establishment speech.
“We must crush the 1%,” Sanders said to the cheering crowd immediately after getting off his personal luxury jet. “I’ve got news for the corrupt Democratic establishment, they can’t stop us. So I am asking each and every one of my supporters to please vote for the Democratic establishment candidate Joe Biden.”
The former Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders told everyone to forget about all those negative statements that he had made only a few months ago about how Biden, corporate America, and the Democrat establishment were corrupt and nervous about how he was going to win the nomination.
“Did I say that?” Sanders joked as former Bernie Bros now held up pro-Biden signs as though everything in the past had never happened. “But seriously, I didn’t sell out, I understand it may appear a tad hypocritical for me to be endorsing Biden, but the only way to tear down the establishment is to become one of them. Every single one of the four homes that I own is another nail in the coffin of the evil millionaires, I mean billionaires.”
Sanders ended his rally saying, “The American people need a wage increase, and that is what Joe Biden is proposing for me if I can convince enough people to vote for him over President Donald Trump. If you can help me get one more house then perhaps we can send a message to Washington that we mean business this time.”
When asked by reporters what his future plans are, Sanders stated that he’s not ruling out another possible run in 2028, and maybe another go at the presidency in 2032 at over 90-years-old to acquire a newer jet in an effort to combat dangerous climate change.
“This old ticker’s got a lot of life left in it.”
