LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK– Just as federal authorities were about to make an arrest of George Santos on various charges, the superhuman representative from New York was quick to use his super powers to evade arrest by immediately pausing time and then using his super speed to travel back in time before any of the events had taken place.
Federal authorities were uncertain on how to apprehend Santos, knowing that he is one of the most powerful beings on earth with the ability to use an arsenal of super powers to do whatever he wants at any time or place.
“Where did he go?’ Asked numerous people in the crowded street after Santos completely vanished once police moved in for the arrest.
“I just saw him here a second ago,” said a federal agent whose gun was magically turned into a pretzel by an invisible Santos. “I could even feel Santos trying to read my thoughts to figure out what the government’s plans are for him. Good thing I’m just a brainless federal worker who simply does what I’m programmed to do without question.”
Unable to find the superhuman Santos and not sure what to do next, federal authorities decided to just investigate Donald Trump once again on more bogus charges while totally ignoring the slew of evidence of crimes against Joe Biden.
