WASHINGTON– After witnessing the dramatic increase in Donald Trump’s poll numbers once a totally unbiased New York District Attorney threatened to arrest him, Joe Biden ordered someone, anyone, to arrest him to boost his approval rating.
With handcuffs in hand, Biden pushed a couple Secret Service agents out of the way and put his hands up in the air in front of a multitude of confused police officers.
“That’s it, boys, take me to the slammer,” said Biden while farting with excitement at the thought of becoming more popular. “Why don’t you cowardly pig cops come and arrest me like you’re doing to that Trump guy. What’s a guy got to do to get taken into custody around here?”
Once he heard that the Manhattan District Attorney was looking into Trump’s alleged relationship with a washed-up porn star, Biden smiled big and told authorities that he too had inappropriate relationships with a multitude of women.
“Oh, so that’s the only reason you guys are arresting Trump?” Biden asked as he chuckled. “Come on, man, that’s nothing. I’ve had inappropriate relationships with hundreds of women, including a few famous ones, and unlike Trump, I was rude and didn’t even pay them any money after I got done showering with them.”
To help increase his chances of getting arrested, Biden reminded FBI agents that he’s on video admitting to election fraud and committing crimes in Ukraine.
At publishing time, there was no word on whether Obama, Hillary Clinton, and George Bush were looking to also be arrested for crimes they had committed while in office.
