MOSCOW, RUSSIA– In yet another gaffe by the current American president, Joe Biden has accidentally sent all 31 of the U.S. tanks meant for Ukraine to Russia, causing Vladimir Putin to laugh and thank the American people for voting for the most popular American president in history.
After promising Ukraine’s President Zelensky that the tanks were headed his way, Biden immediately hung up the phone and told his Secretary of Defense to get those munitions to Russia as soon as possible.
“That’s right, you heard me correctly, Jack, get those tanks to Russia right away,” said Biden as his top generals appeared confused. “The only way we’re going to defeat Putin is to get those tanks over to Russia and also send them another $69 billion dollars.”
According to sources, Putin was said to be as giddy as a schoolgirl and called America’s mistake of somehow getting Biden elected the greatest thing that’s ever happened to Russia.
Mainstream news media outlets like MSNBC and CNN have praised Biden’s blunder by claiming that the tanks sent to Russia rather than Ukraine was actually on purpose and will only help the Ukrainian people by confusing Putin so badly that he’ll end up just surrendering instead of using the tanks to take over the country.
“President Biden is a genius,” said MSNBC host Joe Scarborough with a straight face. “No other president in the history of the United States has ever made such an earthshattering decision such as this one. Former President Trump only wishes he had the mental acuity of Biden.”
After Putin used the U.S. tanks to take over Ukraine, Scarborough said that it was actually Trump that sent the tanks over to Russia even though he’s no longer in office.
