NEWARK, NEW JERSEY– IRS agents are being heralded as heroes after going after a dog for not paying his taxes for numerous years, confiscating the canine’s dog house and charging the dog with multiple felonies.
According to the IRS, 4-year-old dog Brutus hasn’t filed a tax return in four years and has been evading paying his fair share of taxes to Uncle Sam by working under the table as a guard dog and sled puller for children in the winter.
Brutus has already had his dog house seized by the IRS and also faces a possible 300 years in prison for tax evasion.
“No one is above the law or immune to paying taxes, not even dogs or cats,” said IRS agent Ima Fleecem to reporters as a few blue-haired people outside called for the dog to be euthanized. “Mr. Brutus hasn’t paid one cent to the US government in over four years, also failing to pay property taxes on the dog house he’s been living in since birth.”
After confiscating his home and leaving him without a dog house, local police arrested Brutus for vagrancy due to the dog sleeping on the sidewalk because he didn’t have anywhere else to go.
The IRS found out about Brutus’s tax evasion after they were tipped off by the dog’s owner, who reported their pet dog in fear of the government coming after them for harboring a criminal.
Due to overcrowding in the New Jersey prison system, NJ Governor Phil Murphy released thousands of violent murderers back out onto the streets to make room for any animals charged with tax evasion.
