OTTAWA, CANADA– In a last ditch effort to restore order to the galaxy, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has employed the services of the shock troops of the Galactic Empire and their head enforcer Darth Vader.
“It’s time we end this destructive conflict,” said Trudeau while stormtroopers shot truckers with their Blaster Rifles. “Due to the stubbornness of the fringe minority, I was left with no other choice but to hire the services of the Dark Lord of the Sith and his army of troops.”
The Contingency Order executed by Trudeau has been named Canadian Order 66 and took effect early Monday morning. The order seeks singular rule over all civilization within the galaxy of Canada and anyone caught violating the order will be immediately subject to execution.
“Don’t make me destroy you, rebel truckers,” said Trudeau as Vader used the force to remove the trucks. “I’ve given my new stormtrooper police force a shoot-first policy, which I believe will quickly bring order to the galaxy.”
Trudeau’s willingness to carry out the orders of the Imperial World Economic Forum has earned him favor with Klaus Schwab, Dark Lord and Emperor of the Galactic Empire.
“Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen,” said Schwab in a thick German accent as he held Trudeau by a leash. “Those protester’s feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Side of the World Economic Forum.”
After they both got off watching protester’s suffer, Schwab told Trudeau that he was his father and together they can rule the galaxy as father and son, causing great confusion within the prime minister who always thought Fidel Castro was his real father.
