LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA– While giving a speech at a medical symposium with all the world’s top physicians and scientists present, doctors Bill Gates and Big Bird gave their professional medical opinions on the risks of COVID-19 and the need for everyone to heed their qualified warnings to hurry up and get vaccinated.
Part-time Sesame Street actor and fulltime qualified medical expert Big Bird told the crowd of his inferior medical colleagues that Americans need to stop listening to fake doctors like Dr. Robert Malone and Dr. Peter McCullough and start listening to puppets with human arms shoved up their holes.
“In my professional opinion, any child who hasn’t been jabbed with ninety vaccines by now is definitely no friend of mine,” said Big Bird, using his stethoscope to check on his own heartless chest. “If any of you kids are listening, just tell mom and dad they’re racist if they don’t take you to get the vaccine.”
After receiving a round of applause for his scientific words of wisdom, his colleague Bill Gates said he doesn’t understand why so many people are still vaccine hesitant being that he’s completely qualified to speak on topics that he knows absolutely nothing about.
Gates explained that he’s highly trained in the medical field and cites his five years experience in watching the hit television doctor show House M.D. as proof.
“I also watched two years of the soap opera General Hospital,” said Gates as Big Bird appeared impressed. “I can’t understand how there’s anyone out there who still refuses to take medical advice from a sociopathic community college dropout and a fabric puppet with fake feathers who’s being controlled by a paid Pfizer shill.”
