U.S.– Due to the massive boycott against Target for their line of Satanic trans-friendly clothing, think tanks at the company came up with the ingenious idea of simply changing their name to “Bullseye” in an effort to try and fool conservatives into thinking it’s a whole different department store and get them to start shopping there again.
“The all-new Bullseye department store is open for business,” said Bullseye CEO Brian Cornell in a new commercial. “‘I’d like to extend a warm welcome to the millions of conservatives to come shop at our store Target, I mean Bullseye, which is totally not Target with a different name.”
The CEO said that even though Bullseye has the same logo as Target, as well as all the exact same stores, designs, and product, it’s definitely not that big, bad Target store that was trying to groom little children.
“Don’t worry, Bullseye would never sell tuck-friendly women’s clothing like that Target place,” said Cornell while standing in front of a tuck-friendly clothing display. “And if you come into our stores and see any of that clothing, well, then, that probably means that it’s just your imagination and you should go seek psychiatric help immediately.”
In order to further keep up with the façade that they’re definitely not Target, Bullseye also changed the name of their company dog mascot from Bullseye to Target and removed the red bullseye from its left eye and put it on the right eye.
