MIAMI, FLORIDA– During a Twitter Spaces event with CEO Elon Musk, Ron DeSantis told all his skeptics that when he becomes president he won’t run for something else after only being on the job for a few months just like he did when he became governor of Florida and then decided to abandon his job to run for president of the United States.
“I just want to put everyone’s minds at ease,” said Governor DeSantis followed by an impromptu giggle. “Just because I campaigned to become governor of Florida and made a commitment to all my constituents that I’m now breaking, it doesn’t mean that I’m going to do the same thing when I become president. Hey…trust me.”
After giving everyone his word that he’s telling the truth this time, the Republican candidate emitted a series of laughs and chuckles, peppered within a barrage of giggles, guffaws, and chortles.
DeSantis then admitted that he never actually campaigned to become Florida’s governor and that his entire campaign and election were simply a figment of people’s imagination brought on by the woke, magical powers of Disney’s trans mouse.
“Believe me, unlike my governorship, I’m running for four full years as president,” said DeSantis in his bid to defeat Donald Trump in the primary. “I’m a man of my word and I plan on fulfilling my whole four years as president, even if another job offer comes along. I’m definitely not going to tell everyone I’m going to do this job and then suddenly drop out. What kind of person would do that?”
DeSantis ended the interview by revealing that he actually did serve his four years as Florida’s governor because he was counting it in dog years.
