HOLLYWOOD–One of the most anticipated movies in history is about to hit theaters early next year and will star America’s most popular president Joe Biden in a remake of the 1998 neo-noir erotic movie Wild Things.
Due to their failing political careers, many top Democrats have been looking to find work in other areas in an effort to stay relevant. Most US public servants say they were immediately drawn to the entertainment field, being that most politicians are actors who lie for a living anyway.
The upcoming movie is titled Wild Things: Get Defiled and stars handsome leading man Joe Biden as Sam Lombardo, replacing aging actor Matt Dillon as a young high school guidance counselor who gets accused by two teenage girls of sniffing their hair.
Vice President Kamala Harris and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi will replace Denise Richards and Neve Campbell as the two beautiful high school students who claim that Biden’s character forced his probing nose on them without their consent.
Rounding out the cast are US Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg as detective Ray Duquette, a role originally played by former pig farmer Kevin Bacon. Buttigieg says he jumped at the chance at having the opportunity to work with Biden on the big screen in their first on camera seductive homoerotic love scene.
The much-anticipated movie will include remakes of all the classic sex scenes in the first movie, including a hot and steamy three-way between Biden, Harris, and Pelosi’s characters. We don’t want to give too much away, but sources say an early viewing audience was so turned on by the sultry ménage à trois that they began vomiting in ecstasy.
Pelosi looks like she’s chewing cud.