NORTH POLE– One of the world’s most cherished figures and bringers of joy to billions of children around the world Santa Claus has been fined by the North Pole labor board and various government agencies for multiple labor violations.
According to the North Pole Gazette, Saint Nicholas, aka Santa Claus, has come under fire after the discovery that he has been using illegal Mexican workers posing as elves in all of his factories.
The discovery was made after a new law was passed in March by the North Pole’s newly elected leader that states that all workers in factories are to be legal North Polian citizens. A random search of Santa Claus’ factories uncovered that 90% of the elves employed by Santa were in fact undocumented illegal aliens.
“Santa’s innocent of all charges,” said Santa’s lawyer Old Man Winter in front of both CNN and Fox News reporters. “Santa Claus had no idea that the elves employed in all of his toy factories were illegal immigrants that traveled all the way up from Mexico to find work in the bustling North Pole economy.”
In a recent survey, 100% of North Polians believed that the illegal Mexican workers were actually elves.
“You could’ve fooled me,” 45 year old Kris Kringle said, rubbing his cold hands together. “I really thought those guys were Santa’s actual elves. I mean, they all look the same to me. They’re all the same height, wear the same goofy outfits and hang out together in large groups playing loud music and drinking tequila. Imagine my chagrin when I found out that elves don’t even drink tequila.”
After paying a $12 fine and promising to never hire illegal workers again, Santa Claus went back to business as usual and hired all new workers from another known elf country called China.
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