AUSTIN, TEXAS– While the rest of the world believed that Mitch McConnell froze during a speech due to a medical disorder, popular radio show host Alex Jones said that everyone is wrong and that the Kentucky senator was actually communicating telepathically with Satanic interdimensional space aliens in an effort to take over the world.
“Mitch McConnell thinks he has the world fooled, but I’m onto his diabolical scheme,” screamed Jones as he replayed the video of McConnell appearing to freeze during a press conference. “My sources have confirmed that McConnell is a human alien hybrid who has been communicating with these Satanic space demons to usher in the new world order agenda and use us humans as food.”
Jones played the clip of McConnell during his freeze and then played the tape backwards which showed the senator surrounded by aliens as they discussed their plans on total global domination using vaccines on humans so people don’t see the alien’s true identity.
“Look at the smirk on McConnell’s ghoulish face knowing he just ate a human as sustenance,” said Jones in disgust. “I’m gonna go over there right now and rip off that old, wrinkled, human carcass flesh from McConnell’s body that he uses to disguise himself as a sickly old man! I’m just here to save the world, dammit, and wake up the masses of sleeping zombies!”
After Alex Jones’ video went viral, the family of the gray aliens seen in the video sued the Infowars host for accusing them of eating people as food, claiming they only wear their human skin as a disguise to cover their true alien identity. Supporters of Jones said he’s only being attacked because he was right once again.
