PARTS UNKNOWN– Secretive hacker group Anonymous has recently uploaded another video to YouTube, this time stating that they have successfully hacked Elton John’s pacemaker and are controlling him through infinitely coded computer algorithms.
According to the three minute long video, Anonymous has claimed that by using various electrical impulses to break through the three lines of code within the working mechanism of Elton John’s pacemaker, they were able to take control of the famous singer’s body and in essence, play God by being able to move Elton John’s limbs, predict his speech, alter his heart rate, change his brain activity and even force Elton to teach Justin Beiber how to sing.
“We are Anonymous, we are one,” the masked man on the video started out saying robotically. “To all the world’s governments. We have taken control of your famous singer Elton John and are now controlling his body and thus all of his actions. If our demands are not met within 27 hours then we will forced to use Elton John’s body to achieve our most monumental goal of ridding the world of all the political candidates who should not be running for U.S. president.”
The three minute video was spliced with various photos of Elton John in compromising positions, such as holding a woman’s hand and wearing drab clothing. The video ended with Anonymous offering up a last chance for the world to save Elton from any more humiliation.
“World leaders, there is still hope,” Anonymous went on, reading off of a White House teleprompter. “These are our demands. Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders and Theodore Cruz are to be taken out of the running for president of the United States. And as we stated, if these demands are not met, we will be forced to run for a third term as president. We are Anonymous. We are NONE.”
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