European Leaders Hold Emergency Meeting To Figure Out How To Blame Trump For Europe Knife Attacks
BRUSSELS-- With the deadly knife attacks growing exponentially across Europe due to…
Avengers Mistakenly Add Thanos To Group Chat Discussing Retrieving The Infinity Stones
U.S.-- The Avengers have been embroiled in a massive scandal this week…
Exasperated Dwarves Invite Insufferable Snow White Paddleboarding With Obama
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- At their wits end and left with no other options,…
UK Police Charge British Man With Hate Crime For Not Allowing Immigrant To Stab Him
UNITED KINGDOM-- UK police have arrested a British man this week and…
Amazon UK Announces New James Bond Will Remain A British Male
UNITED KINGDOM-- Amazon released a statement recently to announce some good news…
Federal Judge Orders Trump To Return Released American Hostage Back To The Taliban
U.S.-- Uh-oh. A federal judge has ruled against President Donald Trump once…
Canada Government Relieved After Hearing Executed Canadian Citizens In China Were Actually Just Euthanized
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After initially being angry at China for executing four Canadian…
Leftist Neuralink Recipient Places ‘I Got This Implant Before Elon Musk Went Crazy’ Sticker On Forehead
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- In protest of her newfound hatred for Elon Musk,…
Released JFK Files Reveal President Was Assassinated Because Street Was Too Sloped For Secret Service
WASHINGTON-- The long-awaited JFK Files have been released, finally revealing that John…
St. Patrick’s Day Leprechaun Beaten, Robbed After Mistakenly Wandering Into Immigrant No-Go Zone Of Ireland
BALLYHAUNIS, IRELAND-- Authorities have reported that the famous Leprechaun was beaten and…
Canada Prime Minister Urges Liberal Canadian Men To Stockpile Tampons In Preparation For U.S. Tariffs
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Canada's newly unelected Liberal Party Prime Minister Mark Carney sent…
U.S. Border Patrol Places George Floyd Statues Along U.S.-Canada Border To Lure Fentanyl Dealers
U.S.-- President Donald Trump's war on fentanyl just took a bold step…