Man Receives First Transplant In The United States
FAUNA, RHODE ISLAND-- A man whose house plant was born male has received the first trans-plant…
China Places Second Tariff On U.S. After First Tariff Breaks From One Use
BEIJING, CHINA-- It was a slightly embarrassing moment for the government of China after a…
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Florida, Texas Celebrate After L.A. Bans Liberals From Traveling To Both States
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA-- Once Florida and Texas heard that Los Angeles officials had banned official travel…
Genius: Elon Musk Throws Biden Off His Trail By Renaming Twitter To ‘X’
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- After Joe Biden said he was going to investigate Twitter's relationship with…
Biden Holds President’s Day Rally In Graveyard To Thank All His Supporters
WASHINGTON-- History's most popular U.S. president Joe Biden held a President's Day rally inside a…
Keir Starmer Attempts To Improve Abysmal Public Image By Appearing In Playboy
UK-- In a desperate bid to revamp his abysmal public image, UK Prime Minister Keir…
Japanese Government Assures Public It Has Learned Nothing From Europe
TOKYO, JAPAN — The Japanese government assured concerned citizens Wednesday that it had learned absolutely…
Biden Says Black Friday Was A Time To Come Together And Celebrate America’s Great Negroes
WASHINGTON-- After being criticized for calling baseball player Satchel Paige "a great negro" during his…
Canada’s Justin Trudeau Elected New Prime Minister Of Haiti
PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI-- Amid the mass amount of riots and chaos happening currently in Haiti, the…
Biden, Harris, And Pelosi To Star In Salacious Remake Of Movie ‘Wild Things’
HOLLYWOOD--One of the most anticipated movies in history is about to hit theaters early next…
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London Declared Safest City In Europe For People Who Don’t Visit London
LONDON, UK — London has officially been declared the safest city in Europe for people who don't visit London, according…
Elmo Insists New Chinese Muppet Was Just A Friend Who Wanted To Learn About US Military Bases
SESAME STREET — Elmo defended his friendship with a newly arrived Chinese exchange Muppet named Mei-Mei after reports surfaced that…
Congress Introduces Historic Bill To Give Every Homeless Veteran A Cardboard Box
WASHINGTON — In what congressional leaders are describing as a historic breakthrough in veterans' housing policy, lawmakers introduced bipartisan legislation…
AOC Accuses Americans Of Islamophobia For Not Celebrating Hindu Manure Festival
WASHINGTON – Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, AOC, accused Americans of rampant Islamophobia Tuesday after learning that millions of people across the…
Trump Retaliates For China’s Spying By Sending Marco Rubio To Charm Xi Jinping
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that the United States was launching an unprecedented counterespionage operation against China, sending Secretary…
UK Police Arrest Sexual Predator After Establishing The Suspect Is Not Muslim
LONDON, UK — British police announced Monday that they had successfully arrested convicted sexual predator Russell Brand after first establishing…
Trump Surprised To Learn Voters Took His Mass Deportation Promise Seriously
WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump reportedly expressed surprise Monday after discovering that millions of Americans who voted for him based…






