Costco Canada Now Offering Bulk Euthanasia Packages For The Whole Family
OTTAWA, CANADA—In a move to further streamline the most successful healthcare initiative…
After Discovering He’s Gay, Iran’s Supreme Leader Throws Himself Off Rooftop As Punishment
TEHRAN, IRAN — In a shocking act of ideological consistency, Iran’s new…
Israel Releases Undoctored Photo Of Benjamin Netanyahu To Prove He’s Still Alive
JERUSALEM, ISRAEL — Attempting to calm a growing online frenzy about the…
Canadian Man Finally Reaches Front Of ER Line Just In Time For Autopsy
TORONTO, ONTARIO — After what Canada Health described as a triumph of administrative…
Keir Starmer Torn Between Arresting People For Tweets And Arresting Them Before They Tweet
LONDON, UK — Government sources say Prime Minister Keir Starmer is currently…
Japanese Domino’s Delivery Driver Commits Seppuku In Shame After Being One Minute Late With Pizza Order
TOKYO, JAPAN — A delivery driver for Domino's Pizza Japan reportedly committed…
France Surrenders To U.S. Minutes After Trump Tells Iran To ‘Unconditional Surrender’
PARIS, FRANCE — In a move historians are calling one of the…
Iran Council Chooses Achmed The Dead Terrorist As New Supreme Leader
TEHRAN, IRAN — Following the sudden death of Iran’s longtime Supreme Leader…
Mark Carney Secures Historic Foreign Investment After Modi Agrees To Send Millions More Indians Into Canada
NEW DELHI, INDIA — During his recent trip to India, Canadian Prime…
Iran Leaves One-Star Alibaba Review After China-Made Air Defense System Fails After One Use
TEHRAN, IRAN — Relations between the Islamic Republic and China have reached…
Smiling Face Of John McCain Spotted Forming In Smoke Cloud Over Iran
TEHRAN, IRAN — Residents and satellite images alike reported Saturday that a…
Embarrassed Somali Pirates Distance Themselves From Ilhan Omar
MOGADISHU, SOMALIA—In a rare press release from the high seas, a coalition…
