Zelensky So Distraught From Trump Argument He Couldn’t Remember Notes For White House Penis Piano Recital
WASHINGTON-- After having a major argument with both President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance, Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky had totally forgotten the notes he was supposed to play…
Breaking: Released Epstein Files Reveal Jeffrey Epstein Saved A Bunch Of Money On His Car Insurance
U.S.-- There was major breaking news on Friday after the long-awaited Epstein Files were finally released to the public, revealing the earthshattering revelation that deceased sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein had…
Keir Starmer’s Nose Starts Growing While Claiming UK Has Never Censored Free Speech
WASHINGTON-- During his visit to the United States, Prime Minister Keir Starmer sat with US President Donald Trump and told the entire world that the United Kingdom has freedom of…
US ICE Immigration Deports Indian Illegal Aliens Back To Their Home Country Of Canada
U.S.-- The US Border Patrol recently arrested a large group of Indian illegal aliens this week near the northern border, and ICE Immigration has already deported them back to their…
Shortage Solved As Hen Egg Production Surges After Shirtless RFK Jr. Pics Placed Inside Chicken Coops
U.S.-- Promises made, promises kept. President Donald Trump has averted yet another crisis, solving the egg shortage problem by placing shirtless photos of HHS Secretary RFK Jr. inside chicken coops…
Emmanuel Macron Misses Flight Back To France After Refusing To Stop Shaking Trump’s Hand
WASHINGTON-- After his meeting with President Donald Trump in the United States, French President Emmanuel Macron went to the airport to return to France but missed his flight after stopping…
Biden-Appointed Judge Rules Federal Workers Not Required To Do Any Work
U.S.-- With the threat of both President Trump's firings and Elon Musk's work accountability emails, a federal judge appointed by Joe Biden has stepped in and ruled that federal workers…
Trump Hopes Takeover Of USPS Will Help Increase Mail Delivery Accuracy To At Least 48%
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to make the USPS both more profitable and efficient, President Donald Trump announced today that he has been mulling over the idea of taking over the…
Gavin Newsom Taps Fire Marshal Bill To Lead LA Wildfire Recovery Efforts
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In an effort to speed up the Los Angeles wildfire recovery efforts, California Governor Gavin Newsom brought in the highly respected and qualified fire prevention expert Fire Marshall…
Oops: ‘P Diddy Client List’ Accidentally Soaked With Baby Oil Only Moments Before It Was Set To Be Released
WASHINGTON-- The flukiest thing happened this week when federal authorities were just about to release the infamous P Diddy client list, but then at the last minute had to announce…
Mitch McConnell Announces His Retirement From The Chinese Communist Party
BEIJING, CHINA-- It was a sad day in China after Republican Senator Mitch McConnell announced his retirement from the Chinese Communist Party at the young age of 192, with President…
France Increases Military Spending To 5% To Pay For More White Flags Of Surrender
PARIS, FRANCE-- As soon as word spread that President Donald Trump was pulling US troops out of Europe, France President Emmanuel Macron quickly announced that The Hexagon country would be…
