Biden Offers ‘10% Off Pardons’ Christmas Deal
WASHINGTON-- Outgoing President Joe Biden has been giving out a lot of pardons lately and has recently offered a limited time Christmas deal to all those individuals who are frightened…
As Part Of ABC Defamation Lawsuit Settlement, George Stephanopoulos Must Do The Trump Dance Before Every Broadcast
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- As part of an ABC defamation lawsuit settlement with President-Elect Donald Trump, a judge has ordered the network to pay $15 million as well as…
Nancy Pelosi Recovering Rapidly After Receiving 80 Proof Vodka IV Drip
LUXEMBOURG-- After being rushed to a hospital yesterday due to dangerously low alcohol levels, former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was said to be recovering quite rapidly after she…
Dream Big: Former McDonald’s Fry Cook, Garbage Man Named TIME’s ‘Person Of The Year’
U.S.-- America is known as the land of opportunity, and one former McDonald's worker and trash man named Donald Trump has achieved success and has even been recently given the…
‘I’m Perfectly Capable Of Doing My Job,’ Blinks Mitch McConnell In Morse Code From An ICU Hospital Bed
WASHINGTON-- After suffering yet another fall, a visibly unwell Senator Mitch McConnell stared blankly ahead and blinked in Morse code that he was perfectly fine and still capable of doing…
Trump Installs Dog Door On Front Of Mar-A-Lago Entrance For Whenever Trudeau Visits
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- In anticipation for whenever Justin Trudeau comes to the United States, President-Elect Donald Trump had a cute, little doggie door installed on the front door of his…
Smitten Jill Biden Starting To Think Maybe She Should’ve Been Trump’s Babysitter Instead
PARIS, FRANCE-- Anonymous inside sources are saying that First Lady Jill Biden became smitten with President-Elect Donald Trump after the two of them met at the opening of the Notre…
‘Pete Hegseth’s Former Alcoholism Might Be A Problem,’ Says Nancy Pelosi After Finishing Off A Bottle Of Vodka
WASHINGTON-- Donald Trump's pick for Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has continued to face increased scrutiny for his past alcohol abuse, with Democrat Nancy Pelosi blasting Trump for nominating someone with…
Gavin Newsom Leaves Trail Of Hair Oil So Illegal Aliens Can Find Their Way To California
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA-- In defiance to incoming President Donald Trump's promise to deport illegal aliens, Governor Gavin Newsom decided to make it easier for all those worried invaders by going…
4D Chess: Trudeau Outmaneuvers Trump By Putting Tariffs On Canadian Exports First
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In a surprise move meant to beat Donald Trump at his own game, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has just announced that starting immediately he will be placing a…
Two Ladies Caught Gossiping Inside Senate Office
WASHINGTON-- Social media was abuzz with laughter at a photo being shared around of two ladies gossiping inside of a Senate office, with the two giggling women only later to…
After Hunter Pardon, Biden Reassures Nation Ukraine Money Laundering Scam Will Still Continue
WASHINGTON-- After pardoning his son Hunter Biden for any crimes he may have committed related to Burisma, President Joe Biden has reassured Americans that the money laundering scam involving Ukraine…
