WASHINGTON– After hearing that Canada was removing all US liquor from their stores to spite President Trump, California Representative Nancy Pelosi quickly contacted the Canadian government and told them that she would be more than willing to take all that alcohol off of their hands.
Nancy Pelosi was shaking with both excitement and delirium as she held the landline phone handle up to her ear and begged the Canadian representative to please send her the liquor.
“So, I hear you don’t want our US alcohol anymore thanks to that stupid Mr. Trump,” said Nancy Pelosi over the phone after burping a few times. “I don’t blame you for removing our alcohol. In fact, if you really want to punish Trump, then you should send all that alcohol to my house. That’ll really get under Mr. Trump’s orange skin.”
Th Canadian representative informed Pelosi that Canada only removed the alcohol as a political stunt and will be putting all the bottles back onto the shelves when everyone forgets about the feigned outrage, but Pelosi was persistent.
“Come on, you have to send me something. I’ll even take your empty whiskey bottles. I like to fill empty bottles of alcohol with water and then give them to my husband so he doesn’t drink my real whiskey bottles.”
