BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND– As the immigrant population continues to grow in the United Kingdom, the UK government has decided to continue its reformation by renaming the highly offensive city of Birmingham to the new and more appropriate “Birminglamb.”
Progressive UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer gave a speech in the city of Birmingham to update citizens on the upcoming name change and also on how the name change will affect everyone.
“This is a historic day in the United Kingdom,” said Keir Starmer as his fellow Labour Party lapdogs clapped like trained seals. “In our continued efforts to make the United Kingdom as diverse, inclusive, and culturally sensitive as possible, our government will be renaming the highly offensive city of Birmingham to Birminglamb. Because not all of our citizens choose to enjoy the delectable taste of pork.”
PM Starmer went on to say that the name change was due to the very large influx of Muslim immigrants pouring into the country, as well as the country’s current Jewish population who also refrains from ham.
“We’re never going to progress as a society if we don’t make a few changes,” said Starmer after readjusting his headscarf. “And that means native British citizens must adapt to our new world order society, no matter how much you’re being replaced. Failure to comply by calling this city ‘Birminglamb’ will result in immediate arrest as well as prison time.”
The UK government also confirmed that other cities will also be getting a much-needed name change, including Nottingham becoming Nottingbeef, Oldham becoming Oldveal, and Rotherham becoming Rotherchicken.
