MUMBAI, INDIA– As part of Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s promise to crack down on illegal aliens, FBI Director Kash Patel was escorted by ICE agents onto a flight to Mumbai early yesterday morning after his H-1B visa had apparently expired many years ago. Sources close to the Immigration Department confirmed that Patel, 45, failed to file the necessary paperwork, despite being the nation’s top cop.
ICE agents, operating under the department’s newly reinforced “Operation: Jeet Crackdown,” said Kash Patel was flagged during a routine database scan when a red alert popped up on his file labeled: “VISA STATUS: EXPIRED.”
“It’s a classic case of ‘do as I say, not as I do,'” said a DHS official. “Here’s a guy who’s been leading raids on undocumented workers, and it turns out he’s been living here illegally himself.”
Kash Patel, who rose to prominence as a Trump loyalist, was seen tearfully hugging his smirking girlfriend before boarding an Air India flight to Mumbai. “I never thought I’d be the one getting deported. Hopefully I’ll be able to eventually come back to the United States. I’m sure my girlfriend will remain loyal to me while I’m gone.”
The move comes as part of ICE’s mass deportation initiative, which has seen a record number of deportations of expired H-1B holders, mostly from India.
“We’re not playing favorites here,” said ICE Director Tom Homan. “If you’re going to shit on the street, then at least make sure you’re a legal American citizen.”
The White House released an official statement insisting the deportation of Patel was “disheartening,” adding that “although President Trump stands firmly behind ICE’s decision, the president promises to replace the FBI Director with a new H-1B worker in good status who can train an untalented, caveman American to do the job.”
