WASHINGTON– The House probe into the Biden Administration autopen scandal has intensified after Republicans formally subpoenaed the former president’s dog Commander to testify before Congress as a witness to who was using the device to illegally replicate the president’s signature.
Numerous sources confirmed that Commander Biden was in the room when the autopen was being used to sign the president’s signature without Joe Biden’s knowledge, with Republican Committee Chairman James Comer leading the questioning of the German Shepherd dog in the official investigation.
“Commander, we have confirmed that you were in the room when someone was using the autopen to sign your master’s name,” said Chairman Comer while Commander cleaned his butt with his tongue. “Answer the question. Did you, or did you not, see anyone other than your master President Biden using the autopen? Remember, Commander, you’re under oath.”
After Commander barked and growled in response to the line of questioning, irritated House Republicans reprimanded the canine and accused him of being dishonest. Republican Representative Jim Jordan proceeded to roll up his sleeves before pointing his finger at Commander, demanding to know the truth or the dog would be sent to a kennel for lying to Congress.
“Commander, your bark clearly shows that you’re covering up something,” said Rep. Jordan with his sleeves rolled all the way under his shoulders.
Commander later said he didn’t know anything about the autopen scandal, but admitted that he had to take Biden out every day for his daily poop.
