OTTAWA, CANADA– Immediately after hearing the news that American truckers were planning a protest in support of Donald Trump, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau quickly phoned President Joe Biden and offered him whatever assistance he needed, including sending over his Canadian Royal Mounted Death Squad to trample over as many peaceful protesters as possible.
Back in 2022, Canadian truckers for freedom protested against Trudeau’s draconian authoritarianism and were met with swift pushback by the prime minister, including but not limited to, using mounted police horses to stomp on little old ladies who were peacefully protesting.
“This brings back fond memories, eh,” said Trudeau with a duper’s delight smile, reminiscing about the time he tortured Canadian citizens. “Nothing beats the thrill of having the power to use my loyal police to destroy anyone who dares rebel against me. And I would love to experience that rush once again, which is why I am offering President Biden as many horse tramplers as he needs to squash the American truckers who are rebelling against the most popular US president of all time.”
Trudeau got himself back into the giddy spirit of torture by re-watching the hours of footage of Canadian police beating, trampling, macing, and arresting Canadian protesters during the truckers for freedom convoy protest.
“I’ll also be giving President Biden advice on how to freeze protesters bank accounts,” said Trudeau while the thoughts of innocent screams tickled his fancy. “Crush a few old ladies’ skulls and the fringe minority will quickly fall into line. My subjects will think twice the next time they pick on a prime minister who knows how to match lipstick and blush better than any other women in the country.”
In honor of the two-year anniversary of the Canadian trucker protest, Trudeau said he had the cutest socks specially made with a horse on one foot and a protester on the other foot.
“Every time I cross my legs it’ll look like a horse is trampling a protester,” laughed Trudeau.
