WASHINGTON– Republicans in Congress have unveiled a plan to massively cut the federal budget in order to avoid another future government shutdown, with one of the many items on the chopping block being Joe Biden’s body double which will force Senator John Fetterman’s body double to also stand-in for the president.
Wearing a white wig and rambling incoherently, John Fetterman’s body double Ron Betterman walked out on stage pretending to be Biden while the real president was receiving his weekly lobotomy.
“Uh, yeah, um, hey, listen, Jack, thank you, goodnight,” said Betterman, mistakenly combining Biden and Fetterman’s words together. “These, um, c’mon, man, look, here’s the deal, fat. Uh, Bidenomics is the smartest man I know even though he’s a lying dog-faced pony soldier. Ya know?”
Clone Betterman admitted that it may take a little time to get used to playing two different Democrat politicians, but says that there’s not much of a stretch between the president and the Pennsylvania senator because they’re both braindead.
Biden’s fired body double was hired last year after his original clone Moe Hiden quit when the actor playing the president said he “grew tired of having to mimic Biden’s every senile, demented, perverted action.”
Congress stated that they’re also cutting Republican Mitch McConnell’s body double, forcing Betterman to play the geriatric, stroked out senator as well.
