KIEV, UKRAINE– After admitting at a Republican Primary Debate on Fox News that he puts the interests of Ukraine over the American people, former Vice President Mike Pence announced the news that he has returned to his European homeland and will be running for President of Ukraine in an effort to make the war-torn country great again.
During a televised speech in front of a Ukrainian flag in Kiev, Pence confirmed his bid for the presidency and vowed to defeat the current controversial President Zelensky in the next election.
“Good morning, my fellow Ukrainian-Americans,” said Pence, dressed in a green shirt and tan combat boots. “It is with great pleasure that I’m announcing my run for the presidency of Ukraine. The impetus for my sudden interest in governing the great state of Ukraine is my total lack of concern for the United States of America and the American citizen’s reluctance to give up everything they own for this here Sunshine State of Ukraine.”
News reporters snapped photos as Pence laid out his campaign policies and also unveiled his new campaign slogan “Make Ukraine Great Again.”
While a Christian clergyman was being beaten in front of him, Pence responded to reporter’s questions about how he intends to get all those important tanks to Ukraine to win the war against Vladimir Putin’s Russia.
“That’s not my concern,” said Pence as he shook his head. “I’ve heard that routine from you guys before, but that’s just not my concern. To whom this may concern, I know some of you may think my lack of concern is cause for concern, but you need to concern yourself with self concern, not someone’s concern.”
Pence ended the press conference by asking all the Americans that he’s not concerned about to send donations to his campaign for president of Ukraine.
