WASHINGTON– Immediately after the mysterious Chinese spy balloon illegally crossed the northern border into the United States, Democrat politicians began the process of giving the China-created Dreamer free cash, health benefits, and also room and board inside one of the country’s finest hotels.
After uncaring Republicans called for the survellance balloon to be shot out of the sky, numerous Democrats, including Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, made their way up north to protest the immigrant balloon’s unfair treatment and called on President Joe Biden to immediately give the balloon amnesty.
“This poor, helpless balloon is simply trying to find a better life,” said AOC as she cried once all the cameras began rolling. “That’s why me and my Democrat colleagues will be giving this balloon of color government assistance and a safe place to stay away from racist, xenophobic, homophobic, arachnophobic, balloonophobic Republicans.”
California’s Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom gave a press conference and told the CCP-made balloon that it is welcome in the Golden State and can hide out in one of the state’s many sanctuary cities.
“I am officially announcing that the entire state of California is now a sanctuary for communist spy balloons,” said Newsom while walking over homeless veterans. “I have also signed a bill into law which will give this balloon and any others that come to California $20 million of reparations to each one. Paid for by California tax payers, of course.”
At publishing time, it was reported that Florida Governor Ron DeSantis had rounded up dozens of illegal spy balloons and shipped them up to Martha’s Vineyard.
