OTTAWA, CANADA– While in a press conference this morning discussing the best ways to dispose of the unvaccinated, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau slammed a man he caught in his bathroom mirror not wearing a cloth mask, saying the guy was an “idiot” for flouting Canada’s mask mandate policy for mirror reflections.
Trudeau saw the unmasked moron in the early morning hours when he went into his home bathroom to apply his daily makeup and false eyebrows, which immediately drew the ire of the sensible liberal leader of the Great White North country.
“It’s a slap in the face seeing an unmasked idiot in my personal mirror putting himself and his fellow citizens at risk for this deadly virus,” said Trudeau, signaling for confused Canadian police to find and arrest the man in the mirror. “Like all Canadians who’ve seen maskless reflections, I’m extremely frustrated at the moron I saw in the mirror this morning.”
In an effort to protect Canadians from the super-duper scary COVID virus, Trudeau implemented a mask mandate for all mirror reflections back in December. According to his mandate, any reflection caught not wearing a mask will be arrested and then executed by breaking the mirror with a hammer-smashing squad.
“I work so hard every morning putting on my makeup and then some dimwitted jackass in my mirror puts my life at risk with his reckless disregard for the virus,” said Trudeau as his mascara ran down his face from all his crying and whining.
Due to his own reflection disobeying his sensible guidelines, King Trudeau has officially banned all mirrors from Canada and for now on will have his wife Sophie apply both his makeup and blackface.
