HOLLYWOOD– It might be a good idea to leave the children home for the upcoming Sesame Street movie coming out in March due to the film’s realistic, gritty portrayal of the current state of New York City.
The much-anticipated new movie is titled Sesame Street: Escape From New York and follows everyone’s favorite Muppets from the long-running television show as they meander around the dark streets of Democrat-run New York City looking for Oscar the Grouch after he went missing while trying to score drugs to fulfill his hardcore meth habit that he picked up after he lost his job due to Joe Biden’s vaccine mandate.
“The new Sesame Street movie is basically a reality show with absolutely no scripted material,” said Benjamin Goldstein, executive producer of the movie. “Our studio saved a ton of money on props, actors, and movie sets by simply filming the movie in war-torn, vandalized New York City where drugs, crime, rapes, and murders are rampant. How lucky were we?”
Every scene of the movie is a heart-pumping thrill ride that’s guaranteed to leave viewers on the edge of their seats and children crying for weeks.
Unfortunately the studio was forced to cut out a few parts of the movie due to its intense violence, such as Ernie saluting the American flag and The Count asking God for forgiveness for his former blood-sucking activities.
The studio promised they left all the more milder scenes of the movie intact, including Cookie Monster snorting lines of cocaine off Big Bird’s feathered breasts, Zoe getting gangraped by a mob of recently released prisoners, and Elmo and Grover getting murdered in cold blood after being robbed at gunpoint by hallucinating meth addicts.
A typical day in New York.
Looking forward to the sequel.