WASHINGTON– While taking phone calls from people letting him know what the acronym NORAD stands for, Joe Biden had yet another run-in with the infamous Brandon, who harassed the world’s most popular president in what leftwing news outlets are calling the prank call from hell.
As his highly trained doctor wife Jill whispered his lines into his ears, Biden became enraged after the final caller ended up revealing himself to be the “Let’s go Brandon” guy who’s been stalking him for months on end.
“I can’t even ruin American citizen’s Christmas holiday without this Brandon guy trying to ruin mine,” said Biden heatedly, signaling for confused secret service agents to locate Brandon. “This was the last straw. From here on out, it will be my mission to not only find this Brandon guy that everyone keeps talking about, but to punish him to the fullest extent of the law, which I plan on mandating illegally this week.”
While secret service agents pretended to look for Brandon by miming their actions, Biden signed his twenty-thousandth executive order banning his nemesis Brandon from holding any elected office within the United States, to stay away from the Biden family, and to also stop Brandon from taking bribes from foreign governments.
“Now we’ll see who gets the last laugh once I ban Mr. ‘Let’s go Brandon’ from coming within a hundred miles of Washington, D.C.,” said Biden proudly as wife Jill smacked her forehead out of frustration.
On the urging of Biden, Congress was forced to pass legislation censoring “Brandon definitely not Biden” from making any more speeches, sniffing any more women’s hair, or destroying the economy more than already has been done.
FJB