ATLANTA, GEORGIA– An Atlanta man was rushed to the emergency room yesterday after choking on a brain stem that got lodged in his throat and he’s now suing the supermarket where he purchased the tainted brain.
According to the Atlanta Journal, 31 year old Mack Vickerson purchased a brain from the produce department of the local Cerebro supermarket and, after taking it home and washing it, choked on the brain when the lengthy stem got caught in his throat.
“Why didn’t the supermarket put a warning on the brains?” Vickerson asked an Atlanta Journal correspondent with his lawyer by his side. “First of all, the stem on this brain I bought was kinda hidden beneath the gray shell. Usually when I buy brains with the stems attached they’re sticking outta the shell.”
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This isn’t the first time someone has fallen victim to unmarked produce. In 2013, a woman in California was asphyxiated after the cord from an umbilical that she bought at a produce store wrapped around her throat.
“We need better and more clear warnings on all produce sold,” said Vickerson’s lawyer David Schwartz. “My client suffered irreparable damage to his esophagus, oral cavity, can no longer think clearly, and now has early signs of dementia, thanks to the ineptitude of the Cerebro supermarket and also the farm where the brain was grown.”
Typically, brains are removed from the stem during harvest, long before they’re shipped to local supermarkets and produce outlets.
“Looks like I’ll never have brains again,” Vickerson said glumly. “It saddens me, since I loved using my brain for all sorts of things, like stews, sandwiches, and for fuel before hitting the gym. I just hope that my tragic incident will be a warning to anyone foolish enough to ever have brains.”
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