OTTAWA, CANADA– After receiving permission from King Charles to speak immediately following His Majesty’s speech to Parliament, Prime Minister Mark Carney took the opportunity to strongly rebuke President Donald Trump’s 51st state rhetoric by reminding him that Canada is a free, sovereign nation.
With his legs crossed tightly and hands folded on his lap, PM Mark Carney proceeded to get down onto his knees to shine the king’s shoes and kiss his large ring before standing up to tell Trump that him and Canada don’t take orders from anyone.
“President Trump, Canada is a free, independent, and sovereign nation,” said PM Mark Carney as he looked over at King Charles. “Um, your Majesty, I’m not referring to you or the United Kingdom, so please forgive me for having to say this. I will always take orders from you because Canada is not a sovereign nation. Now, where was I? Oh yes, I was just reminding President Trump that Canada is a sovereign nation.”
Carney then got down on all fours and started barking like a dog before lying down in front of King Charles for a few cute belly rubs from His Royal Majesty. The king took a pen out of his pocket and threw it across the room, watching as Carney ran over to fetch it and bring it back to his master.
Prime Minister Carney made it perfectly clear to Trump that Canada will never be the 51st state because it is already a colony of the UK, a province of China, and a territory of India.
