PORTLAND, OREGON– A dentist from Portland has caused a minor uproar among his patients for raising his prices on performing tooth extractions, claiming that the once believed simplistic procedure is actually extremely difficult and prices needed to reflect his physical output.
The 44 year old dentist, Dr. Issac Mistletoe, claims that the most difficult and complicated dental procedure is actually the tooth extraction, not the endodontic treatment or any of the risky oral surgeries as previously surmised.
“Please, gimme a minute,” said Dr. Mistletoe to local news reporters, catching his breath after performing his fourth extraction for the cameras. “You see, I told you. People think it’s easy pulling teeth, but let me tell you, it’s extremely difficult. I’m here to set the record straight once and for all that pulling teeth is like pulling teeth.”
A dental extraction is the removal of teeth from its socket in the alveolar bone. Most teeth are removed due to unrestorable tooth decay, dental trauma, periodontal disease, or dentists getting revenge on mouthy patients who initially came in for minor treatments but angered the dentist.
“This was my 12th extraction and it’s only 10 in the morning,” Dr. Mistletoe said, showing reporters a bucket of bloody teeth. “I’m doing more than one extraction per hour. Of course some of these people came in for minor fillings, that is until I went inside their mouths and made the professional call to extract after having an argument with my wife this morning.”
When asked by reporters why he decided to come clean about the difficulty of removing teeth, Dr. Mistletoe explained.
“Denistry’s changed drastically after the Dr. Ben Feinstone case No longer are dentists hiding in the closets about what goes on in the dental world. Dr. Feinstone’s given other dentists more courage to come out and also start charging patients appropriately. Do you honestly believe that charging a patient only a hundred bucks for pulling teeth is enough to cover my bills and carpal tunnel I get from all that yanking?”
Anyone looking for a dentist who specializes in extractions can give Dr. Mistletoe a call.
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