WASHINGTON– Bill Clinton has recently launched a countrywide political tour in the hopes of getting his now unemployed wife, former secretary of state Hillary Clinton, elected to some form of government office in the hopes of getting her out of the house for a while.
The former president says that ever since Hillary, 76, lost the 2016 presidential election she’s been lounging around the house all day and night and bothering him about the most trivial things, such as not leaving the toilet seat up for her when she uses the restroom.
Clinton said that President Donald Trump is partially to blame for winning the election, as well as United States voters who refused to vote for Hillary more than one time while inside the voting booth.
While promoting his new television show documentary An Evening With President Bill Clinton inside a local Starbucks, Bill scolded a group of both young and old patrons for not voting for Hillary more than once in the 2016 election so she’d be out of the house.
“Thanks a lot, America,” Bill told the crowd of people as they continued with their personal conversations while drinking overpriced coffee and reading Michelle Obama’s latest book. “She’s home every night now.”
With tears in his wrinkled eyes, Clinton begged everyone to please elect the former First Lady to something, even if it means she’d have to relocate to another state or possibly a different country like Russia.
“I’m going stir-crazy,” Clinton added as he appeared disheveled and miserable. “Just please elect her to something, anything. I don’t care what it is, or even if it’s a Democrat or Republican position. I promise I’ll even vote for Donald Trump or RFK, Jr. if it means getting her out of my hair for a while, which’s falling out by the way.”
Rumors are swirling on Twitter X that Hillary Clinton will be making another possible run for the presidency in 2024, which Bill says is a double-edged sword.
“On one hand, I’d be happy with Hillary running for office again,” Bill said, shaking his confused head. “The only problem is that if she runs for president again, I don’t think I can handle her losing for a third time. I still have bruises on my body from when she lost on election night 2016.”
We don’t want her either, Bill.