WASHINGTON– Ilhan Omar is denying all the allegations that she cheated on her brother/husband by having an affair with a married Washington, DC man.
The Minnesota Rep. has been in the spotlight lately after a married woman made accusations that her husband Tim Mynett and Omar have been involved in an illicit affair, according to a divorce filing earlier this week.
The accusations of the affair have made headlines all the way to Omar’s home country of Somalia, where many residents and family members are furious that the American news media would entertain such an idea that a devoted Muslim woman would cheat on a faithful male relative, in this case her brother.
“This is an outrage,” an unknown Omar relative said angrily to a CNN Somalia reporter as they both dodged random bullets. “Does the United States news medias have nothing better to do then to tear apart a loving brother and sister marriage? It was not easy for us to originally convince the world that they were not siblings, only to later convince everyone that they were.”
Once news of the alleged affair reached Rep. Omar, she immediately gave a last minute press conference in front of Rabbi Goldberg’s Fried Chicken Restaurant where she stated that she had irrefutable proof that she is innocent of such outlandish claims.
“Thank you all for coming so quickly,” Omar told the crowd of news reporters as soon as everyone showed up in front of the busy restaurant. “I called this very important press conference to tell all of you to not eat here at Rabbi Goldberg’s Fried Chicken Restaurant and also that I will be giving a statement on Twitter later about my innocence, just not right now. Goodbye.”
After Omar slithered away from the twenty second press conference and got back into her limousine, she instantly took to Twitter to voice her displeasure at President Donald Trump‘s attack on innocent bedbugs.
“This attack on my personal life,” Omar started to say in her tweet, “is merely a ploy by Trump to create this massive hurricane in an effort to rid this country of brown bedbugs.”
A few tweets later, Omar finally gave her evidence of marriage fidelity and stated that she would never disrespect her brother by even looking at another man, let alone sleeping with one. She stated that she couldn’t have had the affair simply because she didn’t do anything.
“Didn’t do nothing,” Omar tweeted with the hashtag #DidNothing, proving once and for all that the alleged affair is merely fake news created by the conservative Republican establishment in an effort to silence her and give free publicity to Rabbi Goldberg’s Fried Chicken Restaurant.
Once Omar proved all the haters wrong with her ironclad evidence, hundreds of Twitter users came to her defense by tweeting the hashtags #DidNothing, #BrosBeforeBeaus, and “BoycottRabbiGoldbergsChicken
The president later attacked Omar on Twitter by tweeting a supposedly photoshopped image of Omar and her brother on their wedding day, saying that she is anti-Rabbi Goldberg’s Chicken and ending the tweet with the hashtag #SupportRabbiGoldbergsChicken.
