NEW YORK, NEW YORK– The ubiquitous stop sign is set to be remodeled due to government officials being inundated with complaints from numerous groups around the country who claim that the red road sign that’s meant to keep people safe is way too hurtful.
According to a statement put out on Twitter by a newly formed group called Stop Hurting Me, many people have quit driving and other activities after being emotionally hurt by the extremely over-sized, bright-red, angry road signs.
“Why do these barbaric signs have to be so red and use such a strong word like stop?” Gary Idiota asked, head of Stop Hurting Me and PTSD sufferer.
“People don’t want to be screamed at and demeaned while out driving by some big, brutish stop sign on a power-trip. I remember the first time I was out driving and came upon one of these scary-looking stop signs. I had nightmares for weeks. I’m still frightened every time I go outta my house thinking I might come across one of these racist monsters.”
Idiota added, “The toxic masculinity of these signs is the greatest threat to our fragile society.”
The stop sign is a regulatory sign that is used when traffic is required to stop and is typically located where vehicles are to stop, possibly saving millions of people’s lives. That small benefit, says Idiota, doesn’t matter when sensitive individual’s feelings are getting hurt.
“So what?” Idiota snapped, shaking his head. “So let me get this straight. Just because these savage stop signs save a few lives then it’s okay for them to hurt thousands of people’s feelings?”
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