Famous Runway Model Dies After Eating

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA– The fashion world is in mourning today after a world famous runway model died from eating food. Bizarre 23 year old runway model Ima Slutsky, better known in fashion circles as The Cat, was coming off of a three year fast when she reportedly decided to finally have a bite to eat.

According to fashion magazine The Fabulous Fashionista, Ima Slutsky went against her manager’s wishes by breaking her three year long starvation diet and eating a spoonful of Nine Lives Tuna meal.

“I told that girl time and time again that food’s evil,” Slutsky’s lifelong manager Sye Fye told The Fabulous Fashionista while getting a pedicure. “I always told that girl that food would be her downfall and look at The Cat now.”

Sye Fye added, “I try my bestest to make sure that none of my girls stick anything inside their mouths. I gotta have my beautys looking their best in front of the cameras. Ain’t no top designers gonna have any fat baboons trampling down the runway. Good gracious, no. Save that mess for the flea market cause ain’t nobody buying that.”

The name Ima Slutsky has become synonymous with what is now colloquially known as Cat Walking. During shows, the flexible Slutsky was known to crawl down the runway wearing a diamond-studded flea collar and cat ears, stopping to purr at the audience and every once in a while lifting up her tail to urinate into the crowd.

The Cat’s poses and wild antics garnered her much attention around the world and she eventually became one of the most sought-after runway models in history due to her unorthodox performances.

“The Cat sold shit,” said 52 year old, rainbow-haired designer Bubbles MacFeather-Duster. “If any of us designers wanted to get our products out to the masses we always knew we could depend on The Cat’s stage presence to get people to buy it. The fashion world lost one of the greats today. It’s a purrfect ending to a girl who really thought that she was a kitty. Meow in peace, Cat.”

A memorial service will be held for Ima ‘The Cat’ Slutsky next Friday at 11 pm inside the Los Angeles Animal Shelter over on Main Street. Most of the world’s top designers, models and photographers won’t be attending due to prior engagements, so Slutsky’s only family Sye Fye has instructed animal morticians to dispose of the corpse in the usual way for deceased felines.

“It’s what she would’ve wanted,” Sye Fye said as he poured a carton of milk on the floor in The Cat’s honor.