Governor Newsom Gives Sharks Reparations For Hundreds Of Years Of Racial Oppression
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- Spurred by the recent The Washington Post article claiming racist…
Biden Soils Himself On Live TV To Show Dominance Over Putin
WASHINGTON-- After western news media outlets reported that Vladimir Putin soiled himself…
Dr. Fauci Enjoys Delicious Thanksgiving Beagle With Friends And Coworkers
WASHINGTON-- Retiring Dr. Fauci has decided to take a break from his…
Biden Wishes Everyone ‘Happy Easter’ In Touching, Heartfelt Thanksgiving Message
WASHINGTON-- News Media outlets are praising Joe Biden's early morning inspiring Thanksgiving…
Democrats Introduce Bill To Abort Babies Up To 1,095 Weeks Old
WASHINGTON-- Going off of the momentum of their totally legitimate midterm wins,…
Male Hippopotamus Wins Local ‘Miss Tiger Pageant’ For First Time Ever
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA-- A male hippopotamus from California has become the first…
The Washington Post Claims Staying Alive And Not Dying Is Deeply Deathphobic
WASHINGTON-- The Washington Post has come out in defense of dead people…
Arizona’s Katie Hobbs Takes Lead After Thousands Of Votes Found Inside John Fetterman’s Neck
PHOENIX, ARIZONA-- Maricopa County election officials made a startling discovery Thursday after…
Big Bird Arrested For Peddling Medical Misinformation
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-- Beloved Sesame Street character Big Bird was arrested this…
Nancy Pelosi Drafts Articles Of Impeachment Against Trump Over Her Husband’s Quarrel
WASHINGTON-- House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has drafted articles of impeachment against Donald…
Twitter Greatly Improves After Elon Musk Replaces Fired Workers With Chimpanzees
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- Immediately after Elon Musk fired a bunch of useless…
Democrats Pander To Dead People To Try And Win The Deceased Vote
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- With the presidential election only months away, frantic Democrats have…